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Szalinski Zip Enhancer
The Szalinski Zip Enhancer is one of many experimental inventions (featured in the episode "Honey, We're Young At Heart") which revitalizes an old person by transferring some of a young person's "youthful zip". Description The Szalinski Zip Enhancer is designed for use by four people at a time: two individuals (presumably younger) who will contribute their “youthful zip” energy, and two other individuals (presumably older) who will receive said transfer. The two pairs sit on the prototype's opposite sides to have transparent helmets lowered over their heads; the helmets then transfer “zip” energy from one side to the other. When performed incorrectly, the experimental prototype transfers too much of the young person's energy into the old person, causing the latter to age backwards while the former ages at a rapid rate. When performed correctly, the elderly person has some of the young person's "zesk for life". The machine was designed to revitalize elderly people who receive the transfer without hurting the younger people who give it. But the machine ended up having completely unintended effects that harmed both parties: those who give the transfer age rapidly, while those who receive rapidly become younger. If this process were allowed to continue for more than a day, it would likely be fatal to all four users. Thankfully, the one time that the Szalinski Zip Enhancer was used the Szalinskis were able to reverse its effects before anyone died. Using the Szalinski Zip Enhancer in reverse appears to be the same as using it the regular way, except that in reverse, the pairs sit on opposite sides so that the pair that received the transfer can give it back to the one that originally gave it. Once the effects are reversed, all four users immediately return to their original ages, though the older pair retains some increased energy and vitality. There do not appear to be any lasting effects on the younger pair once the effects are reversed. Wayne and Diane used the Szalinski Zip Enhancer to donate some of their youthful “zip” in hopes of impressing a grant judge, causing the two to age rapidly. The two experienced the following symptoms: * Greying Hair— The first symptom to appear after using the machine is greying hair. During day one's morning, Diane initially noticed one grey hair, which she plucked away and thought nothing of. Later during day one's afternoon, Diane's hair had gone silver by the time she returned from the store and Wayne’s hair also begun to go grey as revealed after he removed his protective cap. By day two's morning, Diane’s hair was totally grey as what was left of Wayne’s hair. A few hours later, their hair had gone completely white. * Wrinkles— Both Diane and Wayne develop extensive wrinkles after their donation. By day one's afternoon, Diane’s wrinkles are particularly pronounced around her eyes and above her mouth while Wayne’s wrinkles are most noticeable on his forehead. By day two, their wrinkles continue to accumulate at a rapid rate, and both have lined, thick, and saggy skin. * Hair Growth— Wayne's hair grew at an accelerated rate while aging rapidly, reaching nearly a foot in length at the very back of his head by day two's afternoon. It's possible that Wayne’s hair grew the amount it would have grown during a natural aging process. Strangely, Diane’s hair does not grow at all (for reasons that are never explained). * Slowed Movement— Diane and Wayne begin to move more slowly as they aged rapidly. By day one's night, Wayne putters over to the plants (the machine's test subjects) at a noticeably slower pace than usual. By day two's morning, Diane and Wayne slowly putter around the house rather than moving at their usual speed, going slower and slower as day two goes on. * Fatigue— Diane and Wayne get increasingly fatigued during their aging process. This is first noticeable in day one's afternoon after when Diane returns home with groceries; she is not yet aware of her advanced age and remarks that the grocery bags feel like “sacks of lead potatoes”. By day two's morning, both are fatigued; Diane falls asleep mid-sentence but finished said sentence but eventually falls back asleep while Wayne briefly stands up, sits back down and then promptly falls asleep. Neither is unable to wake up right away afterwards. * Male Pattern Baldness— Wayne to developed male pattern baldness at an accelerated rate after using the machine. Wayne’s hairline had receded noticeably by day one's afternoon, and continued to do so over the next several hours. He had lost most of his hair by day two's morning and his balding process was complete later in day two's afternoon. * Liver Spots— Wayne develops liver spots. These are highly visible when Wayne was “pushing ninety” on day two's afternoon. * Hearing Loss— Wayne experiences hearing loss. On day two's afternoon, Wayne's hearing gradually gets worse. This is evident when Diane asks him from across the room whether they'll be “seeing our little Wayney”; he responds “not likely! There’s not a cloud in the sky”, suggesting he misheard his own name as rain. * Tooth Loss— Wayne loses all of his upper teeth at some point during the aging process. This is evident by day two's afternoon when a set of false teeth fall out of Wayne’s mouth while he's talking to the award judge, forcing him to slowly reinsert the teeth. It's unclear when Wayne’s teeth fell out, whether they fell out one by one or all at once, or when he had time to get false teeth made. * Vision Loss— Diane appears to experience significant vision loss as part of the aging process. This is evident when she is shown wearing glasses by day two's morning. Her vision deteriorates further over day two's course that she must strain her eyes and adjust the glasses repeatedly in order to recognize the award judge by day two's afternoon. * Senility— Diane & Wayne eventually go completely senile. It is unclear whether this senility is the result of a long process, or something that arises all at once. Diane and Wayne do appear confused and forgetful, notably with Wayne mixing up words by day two's morning and Diane having trouble recognizing people by day two's afternoon. However, that confusion is also explicable as a result of Wayne's hearing problems, Diane's vision problems, and both with fatigue. Given that Diane and Wayne aged several decades and untreated dementia typically progresses much faster than that, it is unlikely that Diane and Wayne would have begun to experience dementia at day two's morning but only be completely senile by day two's afternoon. With the most likely explanation that the earlier confusion and forgetfulness is the result of fatigue, Diane & Wayne do not experience senility until day two where they go completely senile— they completely forget where they are & what they’re doing and begin babbling based on word association (“Moon over Miami!” “Oh, I remember that! Wait, I don’t remember that…” “Remember what, honey?” “Something about a baboon.” “Balloon!” “Macaroon!”). Plot Overview After discovering there might be an award for the cellular vitality enhancer, Wayne and Diane test out the prototype by transferring some of their youthful energy into an elderly and senile couple, the McGanns, that their daughter Amy has been visiting. When their son Nick activated the switch, the machine overloaded as smoke forms over. After the dust cleared, the McGanns start coming out of their senility and return home while the Szalinski parents watched the fruits of selflessly volunteering to help the elderly couple. 24 hours later, the McGanns are several decades younger. Now looking many years happier as well, they take advantage of the second they now have. At the same time, Wayne and Diane are middle-aged with graying hair. By this point, the Szalinski family discovers that the Szalinski Zip Enhancer transferred too much of Wayne's and Diane's "youthful zip" to the McGanns, causing the former couple to start aging rapidly and the latter to continue getting younger, having the next 24 hours to reverse the process or else. Later that day, the graying Szalinskis attempting to fix the Zip Enhancer prove fruitless as the reversed process appeared deadly on the plants used as placeholders. At the same time, the rejuvenated McGanns renew their vows. 12 hours later, the McGanns are teenagers. Now immature adolescents, the McGanns are presumably acting in contrast to when they were originally these ages. At the same time, Wayne and Diane are senior citizens. In addition to their wrinkled skin, Wayne is balding and has liver spots, while Diane needs to wear glasses for her eyesight. Despite the several various age-associated disorders, Wayne manages to repair the machine and Diane makes several phone calls that cover their absences. Several hours later, the McGanns are toddlers. Despite their short statues, the McGanns still retain their youth and hyper-activeness. Unfortunately, the Szalinski parents are completely grey and "pushing ninety". In addition to bad backs and liver spots, Wayne now has deteriorated hearing and wears fake dentures, and Diane now completely depends glasses as her eyesight has deteriorated further. By the time the grant judge for the Szalinski Zip Enhancer arrives, the two "senior citizens" are able to pass themselves as Wayne's elderly parents. While keeping the grant judge occupied, "Mrs. Szalinski" only further annoys until "Mr. Szalinski" reveals the Zip Enhancer itself. As the grant judge scoffs at the invention, "Mr. Szalinski" loses his lucid moment and "Mrs. Szalinski" starts losing her train of thought. The grant judge loses all patience and leaves as the senile Szalinskis alone. As the grant judge leaves, Amy and Nick arrive at their house with the McGann babies. Amy and Nick reactivate the Szalinski Zip Enhancer and the ages of the McGanns and their parents are restored to normal. Wayne runs out of the house to catch up with the grant judge, impressed that Wayne and Diane has instantly transformed from elderly to normal. But when Wayne realizes that the grant judge only cares about money, Wayne convinces him that he is a mad scientist, causing the grant judge to refuse to work with Wayne. When the McGanns leave, Wayne and Diane notice the elderly couple has "some of their zesk for life" as they speed away in their car, thus achieving the original intension. Category:Inventions